


Scully's Struggle

by Kyouryokusenshi



Series: Scully's Struggle [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-Episode: s11e01 My Struggle III, Season/Series 11 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-02 20:42:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13326114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyouryokusenshi/pseuds/Kyouryokusenshi
Summary: Post My Struggle III. *SPOILERS for new season* What happens next?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to WildWingSuz for BETA-ing!~

Scully was still dreary and confused after talking with Mulder. Her body ached terribly from the accident and the recent attack. Age and weight loss hadn't really helped anything. She had no Earthly idea what pushed her to not only leave the hospital, but get behind the wheel in her condition.

It was reckless, she should have known better as a doctor and never have left the hospital. She was losing it. She had left Mulder over far less and yet he was always there for her when she needed him most.

Scully jumped at the sound of approaching footsteps and sat up in her hospital bed. Dr. Joyet gently touched her arm. "It's okay, Dr. Scully, take it easy."

Scully sighed, though her heart was still racing.

"Your brain activity is still somewhat abnormal and you do have a fracture in your cheekbone from the impact of the airbag. I know I don't have to tell you this, but you're going to have to take it easy for a while."

Scully's head throbbed and she began to feel her heart racing again.  
The woman standing before her blurred slightly. Scully pressed her fingertips into her temple as several voices sounded in her ears.

"Dana, take it easy." She could hear as she felt a pair of hands press her back down into the hospital bed. Scully relaxed against the bed and took a deep breath.  
Dr. Joyet stood back and watched her, assessing what she should say next.

"You've been through quite a lot, maybe we should go over your other test results tomorrow."

Scully heard something in the woman's voice that brought her back to reality. "No. I'm fine. I just...want to go home."

  
The other doctor managed a small smile. "I think you will be able to go home within the next day or two. Your irregular brain activity has quieted down quite a bit and seems to be steady, but there is something else I wanted to talk to you about."

Scully looked up. She felt her heart pounding in her eardrums once again.

  
"What?"

  
"I had a chance to look over your bloodwork again, Dr. Scully and found something else."

  
"Well, what is it?" Scully snapped, instantly regretting how harsh she sounded.

  
“I know this may come as a shock, but you appear to be in the very early stages of pregnancy.”

Scully felt her blood run cold and her head started spinning. "No, that's....that's not possible, I'm 54 years old. I can't have a baby," she whispered.

"I know I don't have to tell you it's not impossible, however uncommon for a woman of your age if you're still ovulating."

Scully squeezed her eyes shut as if bracing for the impact. "How...far along am...I?"

  
Dr. Joyet managed a small smile. "About 5 weeks."

Her mind drifted back to the night she had driven over to the Unremarkable House to see Mulder--to ask about his magic mushroom trip. The timeframe fit. Her heart was racing. Was it the alien DNA that caused her to get pregnant a second time after believing she was barren? Was the chip responsible for controlling that timeline? More importantly, was someone manipulating her chip to fit their ungodly agenda? She knew women generally went through menopause once they exhausted all their eggs…that meant she still must have had a limited amount. She never entirely believed she was immortal, though she liked to joke about it with Mulder. If that was the case, maybe it has drastically slowed the aging process. She was still ovulating in her 50's, though later menopause wasn't uncommon for some women. There have been extremely rate, but well documented cases of women over 60 bearing children.

"I'll let you rest while you process this."

Scully watched her leave the room and tried to take a deep breath, but it was then that she felt the pain pierce through her temple. It was a memory of the Smoking Man she couldn't make out entirely, but it had something to do with the weekend she took a trip with him.

She had woken up in his bed feeling violated. Of course, she had a thorough medical exam when she got back to D.C. with nothing unusual to be found. She didn't trust that though. While she still believed William was her miracle, she also believed there was an outside hand involved in her pregnancy. Another concern came to mind that she brought up to Mulder recently. Was she really being used as an incubator all this time? The thought hurt her immensely. She wanted to believe William and now this child were miracles.

"William," she whispered. "How are you connected to me?” she whispered out loud.

Scully dropped her head back into the pillow and didn't fight as the darkness consumed her.

The next morning, Scully opened her eyes to see Mulder at her bedside. She hoped he had gone home for at least a few hours for some sleep.

"Good morning sunshine," he teased before moving to brush a stray hair from her face.

He always did know how to make her smile. "I look terrible Mulder, and you know it."

  
"Not to me," he murmured as he moved to kiss her temple. "How are you feeling?"

  
Scully sighed. It took her a moment to recall what the doctor told her last night. Surely that was part of the dream? No way could she be pregnant at 54. Of course she'd seen way more unusual things, but William was her miracle. She couldn't have children, let alone at 54.

  
"I'm fine," she whispered. She was debating on whether or not to mention any of this to Mulder. Judging by his reactions to her the last few days, she knew he would think she was crazy. They had always hoped and longed for another child... another chance at being parents. Eventually she had to accept that she wasn't meant to be a mother. She yearned to have a child call her "Mommy". The one and only time she had been referred to as such was when Emily told her to let her go. She missed her terribly too; she’d never stopped wondering what Emily would have looked like had she lived to grow up. In the end, it was a failed experiment that was once again a result of violating her reproductive rights.

William's adoptive parents were the ones who raised him all these years. They were the ones there to comfort and praise him when she and Mulder were unable to. As much as she wanted to see her son, she was also terrified of the heartbreak that would be involved. She couldn't undo the past 17 years. William had a family he belonged to already. Had another mom and dad. Did he have any adopted brothers or sisters? All she knew was that they had the last name of Van de Kamp.

"Scully," came Mulder's concerned voice.

  
She realized she had zoned out again.

"I'm okay, Mulder."

  
Dr. Joyet reappeared in the room and looked pointedly towards Mulder. "Dr. Scully is being released today with the understanding that she not be left alone. I'm still concerned she might seize at any moment. Since we don't know the exact cause, we can't rule it out entirely. She especially shouldn't be behind the wheel or operating any machinery until we know what is causing her seizures, be it these visions or not."

Scully looked over at Mulder. “Mulder, could you give us a few minutes first?”

  
Mulder was startled as both eyes were on him like an elephant in the room. “Oh—I thought it was clear where I stood in your life?” he blurted out.

  
Realizing what an ass he sounded like, he sighed. “Sorry, I’ll be outside.” Scully still wasn’t herself, he had to let it go. But why was she shutting him out now all of a sudden?

Scully said nothing and it wasn't like her at all. His heart sank slightly as he stood up and left the room. Scully clasped her hands tightly.

"I know you are probably still processing the news, but I don't want you to feel like you need to make any major decisions in this condition. I do want to do some more tests before you leave. As I’m sure you already know, this is a very high risk pregnancy due to maternal age and that does raise concern. I want you to be informed before coming to any decision and of course, rested and coherent.”

She sighed and placed her head in her palms. "I thought it was all part of a vision, this is unreal," she gasped, dropping her head into her hands.

Concern was etched in the other doctor's features. Scully felt an array of emotions from confusion to anger, but then to hope and even love. "Something could be wrong---I mean the accident--"

Dr. Joyet gently placed her hands on Scully's shoulder. "We don't have any reason to believe anything is wrong, we did do some tests and you seem to be progressing as you should...there was no abdominal trauma, but we will need to have you come back so we can check more thoroughly should you decide you want to go through with the pregnancy."

Scully closed her eyes. She couldn't have a baby at her age, but she hadn't even thought of the alternative. That wasn't an option on her mind.

She took a deep breath before looking back at the Doctor. "I just want to go home."

  
Mulder and Scully drove in silence back to the unremarkable house. He kept looking over at Scully, who was fast asleep in the passenger seat. She was slumped over partially, her head resting on his shoulder the entire time. As he approached the house they once shared, he almost immediately regretted not putting in a cemented driveway. Scully jerked awake as he pulled off the main road and onto the graveled road towards their house.

"Sorry," he said sympathetically. "I really should put in that driveway."

For a moment, she looked as if she were in a daze and then turned towards him. "Don't be, I'm just glad you finally got rid of that damned gate," she managed a small smile and the sight of it made his heart melt. He would give anything to make her smile.

  
Mulder pulled up to the front of the house and put the car in park.

They sat in silence for a moment and Scully seemed to be taking in her surroundings. She looked around inside the car before turning back to Mulder. "Mulder, by the way, nice ride," she teased.

Mulder grinned. "Thanks. I sold out Uber and hitchhiking for a mid life crisis mobile."

She rewarded him with another big smile. God, she was beautiful. She had let her hair grow out recently and it reminded him of the way she’d often wore it when they lived together, only now it had soft waves in it. How in the hell was he going to contain himself while he looked after her?

  
He got out of the car and went to her side to open the door. To his surprise, she did take his hand and let him guide her up the steps to the house they once shared. What surprised him though was that she immediately pulled back before they got to the door. "Scully?"

  
Scully’s pulse quickened and she took several deep breaths. Without warning, he saw her crumble to her knees with her forehead clutched in both hands. She cried out.  
"Dana!" He was at her side and on his knees immediately.

"Oh God," she whispered. He was immediately filled with dread and instantly regretted leaving the hospital, but Scully was insistent on going home. He pulled her into his arms. "Hey, remember...breathe, Scully, breathe. It's okay," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. He paused for a moment and breathed in the sweet scent of her hair. Despite everything she had been through these last 48 hours, the fresh scent still lingered. He sighed as he felt her wrap her arms around him for support.

She seemed to calm down a bit as he held her. "What did you see?" he asked

  
Scully took a deep breath and slowly pulled back to meet Mulder's worried gaze. "This is where I saw it...the last time I was here, the house was just torn up inside without a trace of you in it. You were gone."

Mulder held Scully and looked into her troubled eyes. "I'm here, Scully. And while my cleaning style may not be Scullyesque, I promise you it's habitable."  
It broke his heart seeing the confusion in her eyes. Her visions were her reality. She bit her lip as she met his gaze and he knew she was lost and confused.

"Let's go inside, okay? I'm here."

Scully nodded. He reached around her waist and gently pulled her other arm around his, helping steady her. Her legs were trembling and she appeared to be still hurting somewhat from the accident.

  
As Mulder inserted the key, he felt Scully stiffen against him before he opened the door. She took a deep breath and examined the surroundings before breathing a sigh of relief.

“Mulder, I never thought I’d see the day where I’d find your living habits comforting.”

  
“Thanks, I think? I can see what's in the fridge or---I can use Uber Eats to get us some food later."

  
Scully raised a skeptical brow at him. "Uber Eats?"

  
"Yeah, it's an Uber driver that brings you food, Scully. You should try it sometime."

  
She eyed him skeptically.

  
"You should go rest--you know, doctor's orders...but you know that thing about doctors not being good patients?"

  
That earned him a swat on the arm with impressive strength he didn't expect. "We didn't get any clothes from my apartment."

  
Mulder smiled. "Scully, you still have some things here. Why don't you go rest for a while and I'll order us some food?"

  
“I’m exhausted, I really could use some sleep.”

  
Mulder watched as Scully made the way to the bedroom they once shared.

  
Scully had lived there for nearly a decade before they separated. It wasn't long ago that she couldn't stand the feelings and emotions being there brought back, but after experiencing what she thought was the end of the world, she couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Scully managed to find some silky pajamas she had left in the dresser opposite the bed and slipped them on. She threw her navy blue, bloodied blazer suit off to the side in a very un-Scully like fashion. A shower could wait as right now she was desperate to sleep. Moving back to the bed, she couldn't help but smile. Mulder had actually made the bed. Pulling back the bedspread, she slipped under the covers. Once her head hit the pillow, the scent of Mulder's aftershave lulled her to sleep.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

After Mulder put in an order for some Chinese food, he went upstairs to their bedroom to check on Scully. "The food should be here in about 20 minutes--" he started and then stopped in the bedroom doorway. Scully was laying on the side of the bed already passed out. He watched for any sign of distress that would indicate a seizure or a vision, but thankfully saw none.

He quietly walked over to the bed and adjusted the covers. He stood and watched her for a moment and despite the bruises on her face, she looked quite peaceful. Mulder reached to push back a few strands of wavy hair back from her face. It made him notice something else he hadn't before. It made him realize that Scully had gotten quite thin recently and it worried him. He figured he'd lay next to her while he waited for the food and went to slowly lower himself on the opposite side of the bed. She needed to eat, but he was also afraid to wake her. Laying on top of the blue duvet, he decided to check a few things on his phone while he waited for the food delivery.

His mind began to wander. What was Skinner up to? What had he been preoccupied with when Mulder needed his help finding Scully? He had talked with him right after he spoke with Scully, but he didn't get to her in time before the accident. He never seemed to know with that man, but he could only hope that they could trust him. It was then he felt a sudden movement next to him. He looked over at Scully whose eyes were still closed. He heard her take a sharp breath and clasp the sheets. "My baby," she gasped. 

She must be having a vision about William, he realized. "Scully," he said gently as he reached over to clasp her arm. Scully started at the movement and she jumped as her eyes opened. Mulder turned completely and touched her shoulders. "Hey, hey Scully, it's okay," he crooned. 

She stared back at him with wide eyes. "Mulder."

Before he could say another word, she bolted from the bed with impressive speed considering everything she recently went through.

She ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. He could hear her vomiting whatever contents her stomach contained. He sighed. Before he could go and check on her, he heard a knock at the door. It was the delivery person. He raced down the stairs and opened the door.

The guy barely said "Are you--" before Mulder reached for the food and threw out a cash tip. Thank goodness for mobile pay these days. He went back inside the house and set the food down on the dining table. He spotted the prescriptions Scully had gotten and figured he'd bring them upstairs to make sure shetook what she needed. Mulder reached out to grab the bag and a bottle fell to the floor. Sighing, he bent down to pick it up. As he stood up the wording on the bottle stopped him in his tracks. Prenatal vitamins? What would Scully need those for? She was beyond childbearing years--or so he assumed. Maybe there was a mix up. He set the bottle down, grabbed the rest of the meds along with the food and made his way upstairs. When he entered the room, he looked towards the bathroom to see the door closed and sighed, setting the food on the bed. 

"Scully? Are you okay?" 

She didn't respond and he went to the door. To his surprise, she opened it and stood there in front of him. "Scully? What's wrong?" As the words left his mouth, it hit him and he thought back to the prenatal vitamin pills he’d found in the bag.

"Scully," he started. "Are you...really..." He couldn't finish the sentence.

The look in her eyes as she stared back at him told him everything, however. Her eyes were glassy and he could tell she was desperately fighting back all the emotions she was feeling. 

"I uh, I saw the prenatal vitamins, I thought it must have been some sort of mistake...I didn't know it was possible for us to have another baby..." he continued.

She looked down at her feet, clearly defeated. "It isn't possible. Well, by medical definition, it's just uncommon for a woman of my age, but medically impossible in my situation. I'm sorry, Mulder, I was planning to tell you, but I didn't know how."

Mulder shook his head and pulled her small frame into his arms. She was so thin, too thin, and it worried him. Everything about her situation right now worried him. He felt her arms wrap around his waist. 

He ran his hands through her hair and breathed in the sweet honeysuckle scent. 

"But Mulder," she said, pulling back slightly to look at him. "It's very likely that I could miscarry given my age; it is a very high risk pregnancy."

Mulder tried to read her expression for some sort of indication of her feelings. Did she want the baby? What would happen if the end of the world was really coming in the next few weeks? They would live, right? Scully was immortal and William and their baby would be protected by her alien DNA. 

"How far along are you, Scully?"

"About 5-6 weeks."

Mulder stopped to think for a moment as if he was doing the math tracing back to the moment they could have possibly conceived.

Scully seemed lost in thought for a moment and her eyes glazed over slightly.  
"What?"

"We may not necessarily need to find William first."

Mulder looked at her, confused. "I thought you said I needed him?"

She shook her head. "He will find us, but we may not need to wait for his stem cells. If....I were to.. she struggled on the last few words. "We could use the stem cells from the fetus if I were to miscarry," she said, forcing the words out.

Mulder shook his head. "No...no Scully, don't think like that."

"It's a very, very high possibility Mulder, along with the possibility that something might be wrong if I don't."

Mulder looked at her as if she had lost it again. He placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Is that what you absolutely want? Are you saying you hope to miscarry?" he looked at her incredulously.

Scully stiffened. "I....don't know."  
She had mixed feelings about this whole thing. While she couldn't bear to think of the 'alternative' option, part of her couldn't help but think a miscarriage would come as a relief.  
Mulder guided her back to his gaze gently with his hand. "Don't say these things, Scully. I know you and I know you would never want that. We have time, we'll find William and if we don't...we'll find another way."

Scully searched his eyes, hopefully. "Do you mean you want to have another child? Or do you just think it's what I want, because of William....I need to know."

Mulder looked back at her. "I never got to see much of William," he watched her stiffen and continued quickly. "And you did what was best for him and I'll always be grateful for that, Scully...but maybe, we can try?"

He could tell she was somewhat relieved by his revelation.

Mulder moved to run his hand through her hair. "I have to ask though, Scully...is it okay? After everything that happened the past couple days?"

He could see worry etch across her features, but she managed a smile. "The doctors seems to believe so, but I have to go back for more tests."  
Mulder managed a smile. "Okay. Well, the food is here. Maybe you could try to uh, eat something?"

Scully managed a tearful smile. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to conclude this piece and continue this arc through my other Season 11 short stories. Please read on to End of the Road, which can either follow this story or Feb 23rd. End of the Road takes place right after Ghouli. My season 11 one-shots also take place in this universe.


End file.
